To Empress Qinng

Empress, I really hope you read this. I'm sorry that you felt insulted when I spoke about Chinese ppl. It wasn't meant way you misunderstood it. Problem is, I can't read or wrote Chinese names, so when I speak about some specific Chinese ppl/ppls I say just Chinese/Chinese's. I don't hate all Chinese ppl only bcz I don't like some of them. I know many nice Chinese ppl too. It is bit funny how you felt insulted only when I said it, never when others said same. Reason why I blocked you was I were tired of your wining and interubting something which you had no clue what it was about and had nothing to do whit you. Nyxx and reef knew exactly what I was talking about and that it had nothing to do whit me. I didn't create that mess which I got paid for. So of course I were angry. And what comes for that what I said about you in kc, you are quite often mean and rite to other ppl. Not just to me, others too. I've seen that many times in kc and ac. Many times you had no clue that I was there watching how you treated other players, so clearly it had nothing to do whit me. And you were mean personally and intentionally. I never meant to be mean to anyone, but i'm not perfect, so I do make mistakes and say something which hurt others, but I also don't have problem to admid what I've done and apologize it. And to end, sorry about my "broken English" like you said, I know it isn't perfect, but at least I try and usually others do understand.

Clash of kings part 2

Kingdom 220

My second kingdom. I met many indresting ppl there. I tried to be leader ( which i'm bad at) I knew i don't wan to be that, but when zig said that he is tired to be leader i take that responsibility. I had expirience of that before, but only demporarely. Well i liked that kingdom till it become boring (which my members blame me, but that wasn't my call) Well there was federation and our alliance was part of it, but we were i believe smallest in it, so we didn't have much to say to thing. unlike many though in our alliance. 

That day when mac said that he quit playing was bad day, then we vote Zig to be our new leader. He didn't want that, but he take that role anyway and he is really goog leader. After mac left from game Alin said he too quit and that was too much to me. I was near quit too, but i didn't and i stayed there.

Snow, my dear annoing snow. First when i met him in kc, i hated him. Once I blocked him because he was so annoying. But when I was movin to k489 he wanted to come whit me. After i got to know him we become good friends. Oh boy, my annoying snow didn't let it go and he is reason why we got thing solved whit mac in k489. Snow had many accounts and names and few times i got confused.  He has listen so much of my worrys and he knew things which even I didn't knew. I learned to know that all m!m something is him. First memory of him is when vig went mad in kc and he was so annoying too so i blocked him. I don't actually know when i unblocked him. But anyway i did and in time i learned to know him better and he turns to be really good friend. He stayed by my side even when I made my mistake and betrayed 100. He didn't leave me alone when I was angry. He didn't stay out of my and mac's busines. Well now i'm clad that he didn't. When I was moving to k489 and he told that he want to come whit me, I was so surpriced.


Oplot, Leader of FoX. Zig asked me to mail him because FoX came to our allies whit some 300 members which joined us. That time there wasn't copy paste ability in game. Oplot doesn't speak english. So I translated my message to Russia and wrote everything to paper and then in game to my mail. He liked my effort. Usually I talk Russia whit him. He made my dream true and made me queen. When i was moving, he was so sad and he sent me many gifts for new new kingdom.


Satsuma. Person who always said that he doesn't need alliance and he end up leading one of biggest alliance in k220. He said futere is bright, future is orange whit loudspeakers. He also rumble. Ow I miss those. It was so exiting to wait coundown to en and see where random teleport drow him. Everybody fear that hi migth end up to their backyard. He used to sent me gifts. First when he sent I was confused, I didn't even know him and I was like wtf, why he sent me gift. When i asked about that in kc ( I asked like wtf, I got gift from Satsuma) he answered thanks would be nice instead of that. 


Kayo, he came from k79, but i don't remember him there. He was funny, but he can be mean too. Untill his mean jokes was for me, I didn't mind of it. After I once said him shut up we become enemys. I have fun memories of him, but after i had rought day and I snapped and was rude only once to him, he started bully me. I tried to stay out of chats when he was there so i don't end up saying something really bad to him. I guess he couldn't get over that I once snap and said shut up to him.
 

Sweeper. I used to flirt whit him. When i left 100 he invited me to his alliance GwP, he doesn't have it anymore. When i couldn't leave k220 for good and Kayo kicked my last castle out of 100's farm alliance, sweeper take me in his alliance. He knew that i used that account mainly to chat whit my friends in that kingdom, but he still take me in.

 

Demonstration

Bad decision government!

Last Friday i joined to demonstration in Helsinki. I never been part of demostrations before. Well it was indresting. Half of finland was closed and there was about 20k ppl in Rautatientori. First in news read that over 30k, but later they said 15-20k, so i don't know for sure. Hole lot anyway. I woke up 3 am and left home 3:30 am. I walk middle of night about 3-4km to Shell where union buss stop to pick up ppl who were going to demonstration.

https://www.sak.fi/english/news/employee-demonstration-on-helsinki-railway-station-square-on-friday-2015-09-11 

http://www.helsinkitimes.fi/finland/finland-news/domestic/13538-demonstration-to-disrupt-transport-services-close-banks-and-shops.html 

http://yle.fi/uutiset/demonstrators_speak_out_labour_protest_in_helsinki/8316083 

Well all started when government made decision to cut salaries, take free days off and take salary away from fist sick day from normal workers by law, that made lot ppl angry.  Mostly it effect to low salary mostly womens industry. Of course ppl who is in government doesn't loose anything. It doesn't effect to bosses or those who have big salary. It so unfair that government is going to pay our countrys debts by using those ppl's money who get it most least. They say that companys get that way money to hire more ppl to work. Pfft, i don't believe at all that would happens. They use those money to everything else than getting more workers.

I do understand that something need to do. I do understand that we have way too much  debt and we need to cut down taking more. But putting those who get least salary to pay it is wrong. Cutting salarys isn't good desicion, taking money away from education and from kids is wrong way. We may save some money now, but what price we will pay after 10-20 years? I think it will cost us many times more than we save now. What i see in future is that we have more and more poor ppl, more ppl who is out of society. More and more problems. More ppl who can't work one or another reason. More and more ppl who need to take care of by ppl who have job. That is totally wrong direction to go. 

 

Well i went to protest. I'm in Trade union (Sähköliitto), so i get free buss ride to Helsinki so i could join. So i went there. I'm not even worker yet, but i don't like idea that i lost those benefits before i even get them. I don't believe a second that loosing those benefits would help me get a job after i graduate school. Politician tried say that it would help student get a job, no it won't help.

 

When we get to Helsinki, there was raining, but that didn't stop us. I never before seen that much ppl in one place. There was river of ppl walking to Rautatietori. My union didn't have any place where everyone shout gather, but i was able find some of my union members and i joined whit them.  It was pure coincidence that i happened to find them. When i was walking to Rautatietori i noticed that one man had coat where read electricity on back and i was pretty sure that he is part of my union. So i followed him. Later i started to talk them and told that i'm member of same union. All those mans was really nice. There were others too. 

One speach went off because microphone wasn't on or something. Ppl tried to yell that nobody hear anything. Group of ppl behind us yelled: Put the microphone on or are electricians on strike too. We turn around and mans who whit i was yelled back: Yas we are! It was funny moment. I don't know did they even notice that group of electricians stand in fron of them. When there was goverment deputys spkeaking nobody could hear what they said. Everybody who were there yelled boo, so i dhave no idea what they said. One of them tried speak lowder, but boo yelling came lowder too.

Rautatientori Sunday 20.9.2015

I may add more pictures later when i get answer can i borow some news pictures here.

Clash of Kings part 1

Online game, mini world

Kingdom 79

I have play sice Xmas 2014. I have play in 5 different kingdom.  Those all is like lil countrys. There is unwritten rules, betraying, shemming, relationships, frienship, unions, cheating. There is everything what is in real life too. It really is mini world. I'm going to tell my expirience in game. Not going to tell about all ppl who i met there and become friends. First i was going to wrote all of my kingdoms here, but then i realiced that it would come too long so i desided to wrote different post of different kingdoms. Some of pll are in more than one of my kingdoms so there naturally can be information of other kingdoms too.

Well I started in kindom 79. First days under shield everything went smoothly, but I had pretty bad neighbor, I was really suffering when Mac mailed me and asked me to join to his alliance. Total Dominance. Ther I met Hertik. His talk was funny lookin in begining. He is from Russia and he had pretty bad English. Now after 9,5 months of playing and we have ben together that long (don't get it wrong, he isn't my boyfriend) his English is much much better. Now you don't need to think what he tried to say. He is loyal and good guy. Even thoug i killed his troops  once, he didn't kille mine. We stayed friends. He told me that he isn't sosial and he doesn't use sosal media. Well now he is in Facebook. Far as i know only two ppl from game has seen his real picture, i'm one of them. Heartik refuced to let go of me, no matter what i've done. I have noticed that several times on the way. Sometimes he has been damn annoy when he wont let me go, but in the end I appreciate all he has done for me.


Zig. I had friend next to my castle. We used to rally together. I liked him much. One day he was gone. Gone by my side, gone of alliance. I felt that i lost friend. I was heard broken when i noticed that he was gone. I mailed and asked why he left. He said that he better not be under tot tag now. He said that this is small kingdom and he is still there. Lot of time passed before we met again. He teached lot me about game. He is always testing things. He was mod in k79. When we moved to k220 he invited me in to his alliance so i dont get attacked. When I was trying to get attacked because we have move to another kingdom he wanted to come whit us. Later he become our alliance leader in k220. Once I was unusually long offline and Zig said that he was booking flight to Finland to see what is wrong, lol.

Natas, my dear brother. I love him like he would my real brother. When I first talked to him, I did't know which language he speak. It was bit funny actually, we didn't get reply so we tried several different languages. Oh gosh, he must think we are crazy. When he finally answered he said English only. He has listen my worrys so long and never said that i'm crazy when i tell him some crazy stuff. He always find time to listen me and comfort me. And he never judge me. He too has help he a lot.In game and whit hear problems. I'm so clad i have him there for me. We arent in same alliance now, but still near eachothers.


Price Neo, we used to flirt in kc lot. We never been in same alliance. When we moved to k220 I gave all my resources to him. We stayed toch after I moved. He was one who i missed from k79. We don't speak that much what we used to talk. We used to talk every day in kc and by mails. I miss that still. We had some hilarious conversations. He used to say that he has booked fligth to Finland whit Mystery. When I moved, he tried to get me stay and join same alliance whit him.

Tnsk was my biggest enemy, he used to bully me when i was only lil castle. I was near Day hive which was his alliance at the time. he had like twice as big castle as i had. I didn't have any chance and he kept attacking me over and over again. I have beat him once. He showed up to our hive and we rally him and we actually won once. Shame that i did't take ss of that battle report. It was friday morning and ke was started. i got all 3 rewards by rallying him once. Oh boy that felt so good. In the end he ported away. After we were move to other kingdom i did play lil in k79 too. I joined to SEP and i liked how there i could fight against Tnsk and his alliance KRD. That was big reason why i kept logging on there and kept training troops and kept upgrading.

 That  night when we desided to move, we killed Day and it never riced to top alliances after that. But then KRD came and they said that they never stop attacking us. Then ppl started to talk about starting over in new kingdom. And we moved. I didn't really want to, but i didn't want to be left behind so i moved too. I missed friends who stayed in k79.

We had many alliances in union whit us, in the end only Tai was there and helpt us. When we got wiped out, i tried to find our allys. Onmly one leader mailed me and she told us to shielded. I was bitter about that so long. Months later she told that they didn't have troops and hole alliance was in breaking point. Then i undertood why she didn't help. I did't even knew all of who was in our plan. I tried to contact those who i knew. I dont know what was others reasons why they didn't came to help us. I think fear.

 

Thougs of relationship

Relationship

(hun you may not want to read this one)

This is gonna be my most personal post. I'm not going to tell all of my boyfriends or hole life story, but those witch had most effect to my life. If you are my ex you might not want to read this. You might found out something witch you dont want to know.

 

 I don't know how many boyfriends i have had by now. For now i have boyfriend who i meet in game, we never have seen eacothers in real life. I hope we will. Some may think that's stupid. Well it's my choose, it fit to me in my life in this point. When I had last break up it was messy. He was there for me, he was lisning my worrys. We were friends in that point. On the way we noticed that we like eachothers. Well long distance relationship isn't ever easy. So much isn't there. You can't hug person who you love. There isn't those lil things without words how to show that you love. But there is lot talking. When you forgot to talk you'll be in big trouble. 

Resently we forgot talk. You know, about everyday things. He talked to me when he wanted something from me. Of course that lead to that I felt unloved and hurt. You need to understand that every story have two sides of story and this is only my side of view. Reason why I wrote this isn't to make him look bad. We both made same mistake. I was pretty rude to him when he bothered to talk to me. Mainly we just argued about game. One day i got to my limits and things got ugly. In that process I end up hurting ppl who were totally innocent hole thing. Ppl who is my friends and who I care lot. I'm not proud of that. Anger can make you change and make you do bad things. I didn't like that person who I turned to be. All this happened in game, but game is like mini world. I'll get back to that in other post. 

 I have had bad luck choosing my boyfriends before. My first long relation ship was only good one, but we grow apart of each others. Long we stick together just because either one of knew what to do. We were more like friends. Some point I started fear his toch, it meant sex for me. Some point i think i loved him.  We had awesome discustions. He teached me lot of things. He always though that i'm not that smart, in the end of our relationship he got to know truth. Well we had something beautiful once, but that was long time ago. Now i have only beautiful memories. These years after our break up i have meet him only few times. He is only one who i have cheated, that i regret lot. I think he still don't know (only if he read this). I have shame that so long. Not sure do any of my friends know about it. Well now they know if they read this. but that all happened years ago. We broke up whit no any fight and drama when I found new boyfriend.

Then my first love. i was 16 and totally kid. Our relationship wasn't long. When he dumpt me he drove me home from Seinäjoki. Hole about 20 min drive I kept saying in my mind over and over again: Don't cry, Don't cry. When we got to my home yard in radio came Janne Tulkki Tulvii Pohjanmaa. Those who doesn't understan Finnish can't understan it. It start in english this:
You go on and flooded Ostrobothnia. Turns off the stars and the wind yelp. Met rivers roll away, the tears of disappointment. You go on and flooded Ostrobothnia. There is a feeling as a wide expanse, it satisfies the human heart. Not to belong to the sweetness of the mind, only the true nature of straightness. It is not enough to you, you do not even thanked. I get to stay alone to mourn.
Well that point i cried. How could I be not to cry?  We didn't see or hea eatchothers several years. We meat again because of Facebook. And we tried relationship again after so many year, well it didn't work.


Then there is my baby daddy. I have known him so many years. There was so much drama in that relationship. Well not between us, but causing by others, mainly his ex-wife. I was babysitting his kidand somehow we end up to same bed. And I fell in love to him. He would be good man if he wouldn't drink too much. His drinking was the reason why i left him before I even knew that i'm bregnant. We did hang together hole bregnancy and lil after our son was born, but not truly like cable. I kept about year after our son born hope on that he will change and we could be family. That never happened. It was disapointing moment when I finally let it go and started to walk away. I didn't plan to get bregnant, but my son is most beautiful thing what has happened to me. I knew some level that I will end up being alone whit him and I don't regret it at all.

Thougths of life

Life

Life isn't easy, sometimes it sucks and sometimes it is wonderfull. You'll face some diffulties on your way, you'll face many good things. You'll meet kind, sweet, hard, mean etc ppl in your life. You live only once, so remember live it at full. D0n't sit there and look it flowing beside of you. Find bravery to jump in and go whit flow. Give always all you have to life. Don't ever give up. If somewhere is wall next to you, turn other way and find your way to other side.

My friend asked once am I never sad. That surprised me. Of course i'm sad sometimes.  She said: "You look always so happy!"  Guess i'm just master hide my worrys, hide my pain. Well you'll never know what is behid of somebody's smile, what pain she/he feel inside. Dont judge anyone, you haven't live her/his life. If you could jump in to other person's shoes, you would surprise how it is. You'll would understand why other made chooses what she/he have make in her/his life. You'll probably understand why somebody is what she/he is. You'll never know what is behind of closed doors. Every single one expirience some difficulties in their life. Others life may look berfect, but really, nobody have berfect life, nobody's life isn't that smooth what it seem to be.

Live for moment. Don't spend time looking back. Yesterday is yesterday and it will never come again. Lear from your mistakes, but don't stay thinking those forever. Past is past and you can't change it. Don't worry too much of tomorrow, it isn't here yet and it may not be what you wanted it to be. We all have only one life, so don't spend time to things witch doesn't even matter. Life is out there waiting for you. Do things what you enjoy. Don't spend time hating, it is useless feeling witch eat you inside of you, take too much energy and lead anywhere. Let it go and consentrate something else. Don't be angry long, it is waits energy too. Love lot whit all your heart. Give all to it. If person is right yoyu'll get it back many times. If it isn't, turn away and find someone else. If you'll fall get back up and find another way. 

Today one friend asked how to find a girlfriend. Well to be honest I don't know, not because i'm girl and i'm indressed boys, but because I never have really look for boyfriend. I have had many boyfrieds by now, they just walked in my life and I fell in love. You'll know when right one walk in to your life. It usually happens when you least expect it and you haven't looking for it. life is full of surprises. Don't spend too much time or efforts looking for it. It makes you look desperate and you probably don't find it. Wait whit your eyes open and some day you found out that he/she is in front of you. When that day come and you meet that right person open your heart and follow your feelings. If it is meant to happens it will happens whether you are looking for it or not. On the way of you life, you'll end up hurting ppls and and broke somebody's heart and ppls will hurt you and broke your heart. That's way life is. Don't let that stop you going on, get over it and start all over.

You may think that i'm crazy, that i'm weird, that i'm fool. Well I probably don't care what you think. What matter most is that I know what I am. Have I made stupid decisions? Yes I have, actually lot. Mostly I like what I am. Life haven't gone always way I wanted. I have hurt ppl, mostly by mistake, but sometimes on purpose. I have been hurt by other ppl. My heart has been broken by person who I love. I probably have broke few hearts too. I have done things witch i'm not proud of. I'm usually kind and sweet person, but when i feel insecure or hurt i can be total bitch. Few ppl have seen that part of me. I have bad temper and i feel sorry for those who end up seeing that. When i love, i always love whit all of my heart. I'm loyal to my loved one. I try to be always honest. I always try help who need help.